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GOD, I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!!!💔💔🖤

Lovelies ♥️♥️,

Of late, I can literally stare into space and think about nothing. I almost always FEEL NOTHING. I am so heavy on the “sitaki stress mimi” .. and I’m scared of this phase.I don’t care about shit. Niko tu. Did I also mention that I am tired of praying about the same old issues over and over again. So I’m basically chilling and letting life happen. Funny thing is… I am low-key scared. REAAAALLY SCARED INFACT.!! So let’s just say, my ‘I don’t give a damn’ phase is getting out of hand. For suuure.

Y’all know the pain of praying over an issue for days on end.. let alone years. All that fasting and trusting in God. And in the end, stuff still don’t seem to work out or align? Disappointments tupuuu💔. How do y’all manage to keep up the faith while waiting… because… mi nachoka kabisaaa. Sometimes I really wish I’d see God face to face… just to ask Him…FATHER, HOW DESPERATE MUST YOUR CHILDREN GET FOR YOU TO HELP THEM OUT? HOW DESPERATE???😢😢

I read the Bible.. sometimes. Safer to say, I was an ardent Bible student. Things changed, I won’t even lie. Life happened. I still read the word… but I must admit.. my passionometer for Bible study right now would be at 2% and I ain’t kidding😢. I am not at all any proud of this.. But the least imma do is be honest.

So DEAR GOD,

Where were you when that doctor who served faithfully in her field, contracted the Corona Virus and died so fast, leaving behind a young family? Where were you when the raging floods swallowed up the two innocent kids from the village trying to fetch water for their sick and blind grandmother? Where were you when that 67 year old drunkard repeatedly molested that 7 year old girl leaving behind scars that no amount of therapy can heal?😢 Where were you Yahweh?

Where were you when my Pastor lost his only daughter, and watched his wife get gang raped on their way to view their deceased daughter’s grave yard? Where were you my God? Where were you when my friend back in high school lost both parents within the span of one year to Hypertension and Cancer? Where were you?

Where were you when my friend from uni lost both parents all at once on the same weekend? I mean, why did you allow that? I remember receiving the news that the dad had died on the spot and that the mum was in ICU. I remember how we stayed up all night. How we begged you to at least spare her life because she was all my friend had left. I was sure she would be okay. I was sure you would answer us now that the dad was gone. Because…an ALL-LOVING Father cannot possibly allow so much pain on just a single weekend. I remember how we woke up to the news that the mum hadn’t made it. IT BROKE US. Still breaks my heart to date🥺😢. Don’t you have the power to change situations, even raise up the dead? Is not your GRACE AS MIGHTY NOW AS WHEN ANCIENT ISRAEL FELT IT’S POWER?

Where were you when every member of the same family got diagnosed with terminal illness all at once? Where were you? You tell us to call upon Your Name in times of need. And that there is power in that Holy name. You promise to be an ever present help. You say your word is TRUTH. So Abba Father, why do you remain conspicuously silent when your children need you the most?

I understand that the Christian walk is filled with challenges meant to test and refine us for our new Home. But it beats the point if these same “challenges” become too much and make us lose the tiny little faith we had left🤧🥺. God where were you when my classmate experienced so much pain, he decided to end his own life🥺? My heart aches and I am left wondering, how much more hopeless can it get ay papi🤮?

I know You’ve said in your word that those who trust in you shall enjoy your goodness in the land of the living. Then why do your children, who constantly call upon your name, have is soo rough, the heathen laugh and jest about it? I thought that the children of an All-Powerful King should experience unlimited joy, peace and blessings! So help me understand Daddy. Where do you disappear to when we are drowning in despair, anxiety and total hopelessness? Machoooos tu🤧🤧.Just tears I tell you😵.

You might wanna argue that Job from the Bible went through tougher circumstances but had it all wonderful at the end. And that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. But God, my faith is not even a tenth that of Job. Infact, I am already a struggling Christian with enough on my plate.And even before the day begins, I am already so tired of all these trials or whatever. Won’t you just lead us to rest. Even for just a moment? Because it’s too much bana🤧..too much. You’ve promised the weary to come unto you.. that you will give them rest…So how desperate must your children get for you to help them out God?

I know this is a serious post but wtf is happening to theses brows😂😂😂😂😂? What is this even?😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️

How about that faithful youth who entrusted you with her whole life.. didn’t go clubbing or live riotously, didn’t even engage in premarital sex, always did right by you, prayed so fervently about her future husband only to end up in an abusive home… with a husband that neither fears blood nor God? God, where were you? Can’t you just prove yourself strong for your children? Can’t you simply hear our prayers and grant us what we desire, because what is wrong with praying for a loving and God-fearing husband? Is that too much to ask of you? The non believers seem to get the best and happiest families. So explain to me. Help me understand 🤧.I know you cause the sun to shine on both the good and the evil. So why do your children seem to be missing out on the damn sunshine every time?

How about that orphaned young man who went through University with fee struggles and hardly any meals a day… just to end up jobless and hopeless? Can we also remind you that he is a faithful believer who has been praying for a job for days on end? And that he’s found many opportunities but they all require him to bribe a few hands? But he has constantly opted to use the right channels and pray instead? It’s so clear that he needs that job more than anyone else. So God, how desperate must he get for you to grant him just a kajob? Don’t you think these challenges meant to strengthen our faith are the same ones that totally weaken and finish us completely.. na si ati nini ama nini?

In Psalms 5:12 you promise to bless the righteous with favour and encompass them with a shield. You actually came through for the people of old.. The Israelites and all. When they repented of their sins, you heard them and answered. So what is it with us that you cannot help us? I know for sure that we are a rotten generation, that we’ve normalized a lot of sin and that we don’t deserve nothing from you. But God, if your anger against us were to last forever, we would all be lost for real.

God you are literally our HIGHEST HOPE and for most of us, You’re ALL we have. But if my highest hope seems so far away, a million miles along the street, then I am TRULY HOPELESS 🥺.

Loving Father, all we ask is that;

    You hear our prayers because your word tells us to ASK THAT WE MAY RECEIVE
    That you at least give us hope when we are hopeless because You’ve promised to GRANT US PEACE THAT SURPASSES HUMAN UNDERSTANDING
    That you give us that which we can handle because you’ve promised that YOU CANNOT TAKE US TO PLACES WHERE YOUR GRACE CANNOT SUSTAIN US
    That you prove yourself strong for your children because IF THE LORD BE FOR US, NO ONE CAN BE AGAINST US.
    That you calm our hearts even when all seems lost because YOU SEE THE END FROM THE BEGINNING AND BECAUSE YOUR WAYS ARE HIGHER THAN OURS
    That you be forever near us because YOU’VE BEEN OUR HELP IN AGES PAST AND YOU DEFINITELY ARE OUR HOPE FOR DAYS TO COME🥺🥺❤️.
    That you bless us because EVEN WHEN IT ALL DON’T BE WORKING OUT HOW WE WANT IT, WE WILL STILL TRUST IN YOU OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!! (Not kidding at all)
  • #I personally pledge allegiance to The Lamb.
  • SO SCRAP IT OFF, THAT TITLE…THIS MIGHT SOUND BETTER: DEAR GOD, I AM NEVER EVER BREAKING UP WITH YOU🤭❤️, COME RAIN COME SUNSHINE. SO HELP ME GOD BECAUSE I AM YOUR CHILD AND I AM IN CONSTANT NEED❤️.
  • Meanwhile we must live, love, and thrive♥️ na si tafadhali. Also, train your mind to be calm in all situations because God’s got us and we’re gon’ be perfectly fine❤️. WE WILL LOOK BACK WITH THANKFULNESS AT THE TOUGHEST PARTS OF OUR JOURNEY.
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    UNCLENCH YOUR TEETH, JUST BREATHE!

    Daaarlings❤️,

    My third year experience was hell🤧. Pharmacology combined with Microbiology made me feel dizzy. Exams were around the corner and I didn’t know shit. I had like 20 books per unit to read and yoh, I had no idea what was going on. It was a crisis my friend. I remember the oral exams. I knew nothing and when my brain saw one Dr Omonge and an external examiner, it shut down…bila huruma brooo🤧. So he asked me…”Name all the Antipsychotics you know.” I looked at the man and just smiled. My brain was at zero and chilling. Second question… I smiled. Third question… I stopped smiling because… honeeeey🤧, the room was getting hot… and mimi nakufa nikiona. So the good old man decided to ask me the simplest question… “Okay my daughter, you seem quite lost…but I’m sure you’ve heard of MINOXIDIL.. What’s the function of that drug?” Guys, trust me when I tell you, I knew that drug, it’s mechanism of action, it’s side effects and drug interactions. I badly wanted to shine and save my ass. But when I opened my mouth… machos tuu🤧. Imagine I told him, “I don’t know it’s function but I know it grows hair for bald people.” In other occasions, he would have told me to stop speaking like a lay and at least show something for my three years of medical school. But on this day, Kiongozi just stated sarcastically, if not disgusted, “I have no more questions for you my dear… see you again next year” .. My chweeeeest… for those who don’t get it.. there’s no Pharmco in 4th year… so our guy meant I’d be in third year again next year🤧… I was dead🤦🏽‍♀️. I went home… and couldn’t really eat for a few weeks. Usually, I’d brush it off with the “ka mbaya mbaya” phrase.. but any medic would tell you… this was real mbaya. Fast forward, results came out… I’d passed…I had passed…for the first time in two months… I unclenched my jaw.. breath of fresh air wakurugenzi!!.

    I have been a worrier pretty much all my life. I worry about every single damn thing. I can sit down and my brain suddenly goes.. “Sis, stop having a good time. Aren’t you worried about how schools are never gon’ open? Also, is that cancer on your nails or what?” So imma be okay and ghafla bin vuu, my petty self is real worried about everything in the past, present and future as well. I know a little worry is good for planning, but it’s pretty annoying and tiresome to always have a thing to worry about. For starters, I do not worry about legit stuff.. I worry about unknown possibilities… I make up terrible scenarios in my head then worry myself to sleep.

    Mostly, my own worry stems from the WHAT IF(S). So what if the Corona is never gonna end and life never goes back to normal? What if all those people who got laid off never actually get a hold of real jobs ever again? What if our economy never recovers? What if this is just the beginning of what 2020 has to offer? I mean, what if life from this point becomes a downward spiral? Also, what if we keep worrying about all these stuff and everything turns out just fine? Because I know everything’s gonna be alright- Bob Marley knew that😉.

    What if that 5-year relationship you’ve been in comes to an unannounced end? What if that Luo guy you so much trust decides to marry your best friend instead? What if you get knocked up and left all alone? What if you organize an expensive wedding and Kwamboka decides not to show up so Jay is left all stranded on the alter? What if you get babies with Down syndrome and Cri-du-chat🤧? What if both of you are infertile for real and in-vitro fertilization is not an option? What if he loses his job on your first year of marriage and y’all are forced to move to the village? Moraa have you thought about all that? What if you never get married in this life and in the life to come?😂😂 What if you become that single aunt with a suspicious amount of money, who shows up to family gatherings late and drunk??? On the flip side, what if everything goes as planned? Y’all get married in a beautiful wedding on a pretty sunny day, get beautiful, chubby chocolate babies with arms folded like croissants, get well paying jobs and live the life y’all dreamed of together?

    What if that one parent you have left doesn’t make it to your graduation? What if you lose both along the way? What if they don’t live long enough to have you treat them to a trip to Dubai and a clean black V 8 pro max😅 after you’ve finally become financially stable? Also, what if they live healthily to be toothless surrounded by their great-grandchildren, massive wealth and they die happy and proud because of what they saw their children achieve? Because God has promised that those who trust in Him will live to see His goodness in the land of the living☺️.

    What if you finish uni and never actually land yourself a decent job? What if you’re forced to live from hand to mouth? What if you cannot afford the lifestyle you’ve always dreamt of and instead end up living just next to the slums you’ve read about and seen on the news? Also, what if you land that scholarship to the Harvard University, where you get a job and a beautiful apartment as well with a salary as thick as Sidika and a chauffeur to pick and drop you every day? What if all doors keep opening up for you and you just can’t believe it because the blessings are too much?

    What if you never actually recover from losing your loved one? What if the scars from that abusive partner or that traumatic rape ordeal at Ian’s party never actually heal? What if you remain bitter, angry and in denial your entire life? What if this time y’all keep saying heals wounds has run out? Or at least cannot heal your wounds? Also honey, what if against all odds, you heal and flourish so quick, you can’t believe you’ve mastered all that strength?

    Honey have you thought about your own health? What if you get diagnosed with Lupus Erythematosus at such a young age? Or get involved in an accident and lose a limb or two? What if you wake up one day and you’ve lost your sight? Because if you’ve been to Kenyatta National Hospital, Accidents and Emergency unit, especially on a Friday evening, you must know that life and good health are not just guaranteed. Also, what if you never get to experience any health issues? Or if you already do, have them kept well under check? What if you are able to afford all the meds to keep your Diabetes and Hypertension in check? Have you maybe thought about being thankful for the fact that you can manage to eat the healthy foods recommended by your doctor? Have you been thankful because you didn’t wake up to a Vitiligo that keeps growing and spreading so fast, it leaves you hopeless?

    Fear of the unknown is what I call it. What if it turns out bad? No honey, what if it all works out in the end? Worry is like carrying an umbrella around, expecting it to rain. Yes, it rains sometimes, heavy rain for that matter, but what are the chances that it will rain all year round from January to January? How about we enjoy the sunshine and hide in the shelter when it actually starts raining?

    This time round, we spread around good vibes.. of hope and courage, not of fear, we stop telling couples that it will end in tears, because it won’t. We stop worrying ourselves to sleep because OUR GOD IS AN EVER-PRESENT HELP IN TIMES OF TROUBLE. We keep sending job CV(s) as we do side hustles because finer jobs are coming. We keep being happy where we at, because breakthroughs are real. We keep up a hopeful and joyful spirit because “worry is blind and cannot discern the future“- EGW (my all-time fav author). We keep encouraging each other because that’s the energy we all need to succeed. We keep telling our friends of viable opportunities because when they succeed, it opens up doors for us as well. We wish good on everyone because there’s room for us all to make it.

    TODAY, WE TRAIN OUR MINDS TO BE CALM IN ALL SITUATIONS. Any lady can attest to how attractive a calm gent is.. It be the soothing, calming aura for me…the ability to ease my anxiety and make me feel safe. A man who doesn’t bang tables and slam doors when angry (why do I feel like I’m describing my dad😂😂😂.. so calm and composed)..Imma marry that man even if he has nothing for shooo😂😂😂. Anyway, if you like a calm environment, be that for others as well. Create an environment where everyone can thrive in peace and quiet ☺️.

    Remember, worry won’t stop the bad stuff from happening. So we might as well enjoy the good stuff while it lasts. Ka mbaya, mbaya and we’ll cross that “mbaya bridge” when we get there.

    MEANWHILE, LIVE, LOVE AND THRIVE DARLING BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT ALL, THE GOOD STUFF❤️❤️.

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    DO I LIKE STEVE OR EVE?

    Guuuuys❤️❤️❤️❤️,

    I really won’t even lie…whatever we’ll discuss today is quite sensitive. Like even I don’t understand what am about to talk about. I’m gonna need y’all to help me get it… because… we need facts. Bro, without further ado and with zero judgement, let’s get straight to it.

    I’m gonna give a short experience. The year was 20**… if you know what I mean🤧. So this chille was like my best friend and stuff. To me, she was just a friend. But I noticed weird tendencies. Let’s call her Lexy. So Lexy would call me every morning and every night, ask about what I’d eaten for lunch, ask to talk to my siblings, got angry every time I talked to interested MALE potentials.(I defo had to specify and be clear wakurugenzi😂😂😂😂). So I started wondering if dear Lexy was just being an old-school bestie or if it was turning into an actual obsession. And what kind of obsession because wtf? Honey I thought we were both chics… so why the hell am I receiving more calls and texts from you than from my mans? Also, why was I being forced to be accountable to a “best friend” about every single detail of my life. At this point, y’all get worramsaying. Yeah, shit got real… and I wanted out and I couldn’t even walk away from “bestie” without honey causing a scene….end of story.. He who has a brain already gets it. Brooo!! Seems I was in a relationship unawares bana!!!

    Anyway let’s talk about the issue at hand. SEXUAL ORIENTATION. I have more questions than I do answers. Regardless, I’ll still speak. Whatever I say is subject to open criticism and correction by the way.

    First of all .. is there anyone who’s born gay, or lesbian or bisexual? Is it a change that occurs at puberty. Can someone choose to be a homosexual? Like do you get to choose your sexual orientation? Is it something one can control and change whenever they want to? I got to ask a few questions to some of my legit people. So as we go on, I’ll quote actual statements from actual people experiencing the same. Also, is sexual orientation something that can be suppressed forever? Especially in an African set up where being bisexual or homosexual is a taboo? Also, for the religious people what does the Bible or Qurhan have to say about all these? And of course what do y’all think??? Because ata mimi nachanganyikiwa kidogo🌚.

    Is it right to say that Brother Daniel was born gay? That even at birth, given a chance, he’d still be attracted to a Mr George? Is there like a gene for sexual orientation? Help me understand. My thoughts, I really don’t think there’s a “homosexuality-gene” or a “bisexuality gene”. For instance, there’s a clear genetic explanation for dwarfism, albinism, etc, but I know there’s nothing like a “gay- gene”. So this begs the question, what then makes someone gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight?

    Is sexual orientation determined at puberty or is it a product of how a child is brought up. For instance, did Omondi become “girl- ish” because he was the only boy and grew up around sisters and a single mother? Or did he interact with so much homosexulity in highschool and university so that he slowly chose to be gay? Also, could it be that Wanjiru started liking girls because everyone kept commenting about her manly voice and tom-boy tendencies? Is it something that gets introduced to someone at a later age or is it how they grow up from childhood? That right there is my question.

    I had a Muslim friend who was gay. So he tried hiding it, because if I’m right, society and religion would have judged him brutally. So Moha found a beautiful Muslim lady whom he liked a lot and married. The ceremony was so pompous, expensive, and full of honorables, he thought his sexual tendencies would respect that. The lady was really really fiiiine🔥🔥. So he had no excuse whatsoever. Moha however got himself cheating with a certain Ahmed guy. It got so bad, he confessed to his wife, who could not bear the shame. She took off. In short, the entire village knew that Moha had come out as gay. They didn’t take it well for sure. Sadly, he got rectal cancer, and on his death bed, these were his exact words, “I tried to pray to Allah to take away these feelings for men, severally, every single day. But the feelings got stronger and I gave up trying to change who I am. Please pray for me that Allah may pardon me. My question is, can sexual orientation be controlled? Is it that Moha didn’t pray enough? Because of all the people, Moha had everything to lose, a beautiful wife, his reputation, his salvation… y’all feel me? So is it that he was not persistent enough to pray his way into being straight or he just couldn’t control it?

    Honeys, what does the Bible have to say on this? Also for my Muslim readers, feel free to enlighten me on whether the Qurhan touches on this issue. For those who don’t ascribe to any form of religion, what do you think about sexual orientation? Help us get some answers.

    I really really want to comment on the Science behind sexual orientation. Why some people are straight, others are bi, and others homosexuals. But I’d be lying because even I don’t know shit. There are obviously people who are better equipped to discuss the scientific and mental aspects of sexual orientation. I already normalized accepting that I don’t have enough facts to actually give a legit opinion. That’s why I took time to write this down today, short and all. So y’all could comment and tell us what you think.

    My few cents:

    People are out here struggling with sexuality. Teenagers especially. There’s a lot of pornography going on and a large percentage of consumers is made up of kids who don’t even know how to deal with life. I really want to put the blame on parents and poor upbringing, but it doesn’t even make sense. Most mothers are busy staying up late, praying fervently that their children may grow up into God fearing and responsible citizens. Most dads are busy trying to provide phones and WiFi for the kids to access online studies. How is this poor parenting? If Jayden only thinks about sex and porn, how is it the government’s fault for sure? At some point, the young people really push the oldies to a corner. Between a rock and a hard place. Because how do you explain a bunch of teenagers shooting porn? I mean, how is it the parents’ fault? My question is, could it be that sexual orientation is largely influenced by the stuff we watch and listen to? The movies, peer pressure, music? Say for example, almost every Kenyan baby who’s hardly able to talk is singing this Okwonkwo song, thanks to Tiktok and Azz.. It’s all fun and games till you listen to the words and y’all wanna blame who? Femi One?

    I’d say, let’s talk about these topics y’all keep avoiding. We might not find solutions, or answers… but someone somewhere will know they are not alone.

    Also, the fact that Lavender came out and said she’s lesbian, should not send you off running to tell everyone that Lavy is a spoilt brat and that she’s going to hell. I think people are the way they are for a reason. You might not get it, but don’t judge. Ask, get some knowledge and when you decide to speak, do it from a knowledgeable point.

    That’s pretty much all I had for today. I really don’t want to speak much on a topic I don’t fully understand. I hope I made my point though. Normalize giving opinions from a point of knowledge and also accepting people the way they are. If you really don’t resonate with a person’s way of life and thinking, let them be. You can’t judge or harass them into being who or what, in your opinion, is “socially acceptable “.

    I know 2020 is out here making most of us run on empty. No jobs, no school, constant inability to breathe freely, masks, anxiety and all, some in abusive homes have to stay because, who tf has money to rent an apartment in the middle of a pandemic?? Also, twitter and IG out here making y’all think everyone is prospering the same? The constant feels that time to get your life together is running out😅. Lying in bed and realizing that you are not okay for sure🤧. Some of us are in that I don’t care phase and it’s becoming dangerous 😂. Anyway… listen up lovelies… God’s got us and we’re gonna be fine. I don’t know how or when, but I know that He has a million of ways providing for us, all of which we know nothing of.❤️❤️

    SO LIVE, LOVE AND THRIVE DARLING, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT ALL.. THE GOOD STUFF❤️❤️❤️

    I’m leaving this here because it’s a cute picture and I like it😂😂😂🌚🌚. That’s my reason..I LIKE IT!!! I just had to use it anywhere… in my blog.. Forgive me but I had to😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️.

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    I SAID WHAT I SAID 😂,

    Hoooneeey(s)❤️,

    How have y’all been? It’s been a decade, I know🤦🏽‍♀️.. sorry not sorry! I thought consistency would be the least of my worries, but here we are😅😅. I have reasons and those who need to know already do☺️. All that aside, I think 2020 is hands down the weirdest year we’ve all had. I don’t really mean that it’s been hectic.. I just feel imekuwa ni kama ndrama kama vindeo. I’ll keep saying this, no matter how bad the years get… I believe 2019 was outright my worst. I promised to do a blog post of what I mean when I say 2019.. but sina nguvu wala uwezo…Machos tuu.

    Today we’re gonna do a review of random stuff that I love and why I do..😂 I’ll also mention why I hate what I hate.

    Disclaimer: We’re gonna get real honest here😂… and feel free to catch feelings…

    First of all who tf wears these kind of shoes in the 21st century???😂… like whhhyyyy?? Your mens just allow you to walk around with these shoes surely? In Nairobi City???? Pale CBD?? Help me understand Chepchumba🤧. Because if he can gerrit, then I can gerrit😂.

    Do you guys know these people you meet on day one and they already wanna tell you everything about themselves and in turn know every tiny detail about you? My few cents.. We don’t know each other that well, so don’t expect me to spill out all my info on the table. I really respect people who are chilled and don’t try to out-do themselves.. especially on our first day😅. Honey, just let things flow… if we vibe, we vibe. Also, this is not preschool where we write our names on the sand and promise to be best friends forever…. so just chill Susan!!

    If we are all really being honest here, most of us would choose ugali over pizza any day. There is just something off about pizza…It’s good for the gram and of course you look cool carrying a pizza box from Debonairs around town. However, it’s only fair to admit that PIZZA IS TOTALLY OVERRATED!!!

    I’ve attended a church somewhere pale Westlands and goodness!! Beard was happening 😂. It’s like beard was being served at the gate before the concert..and them suspenders yooh😂😂. Aaah! They look good but too much of something is poisonous. I could hardly tell the difference between the guys from Heaven Landed and those from Radiance Shower Acapella. Don’t get me wrong, but the Huge afro- Beard- Suspender- Bowtie- Tight don’t touch trousers- and them loafers without socks combo can become pretty nauseating when literally every guy you know has that signature look😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️. Anyway WE LOVE TO SEE IT STILL😂. #beardless boys’ lives matter too😂😂.

    Have you ever tried talking to that crush you’ve had for a solid three years? That one human you think about every night instead of spending your time on your knees in fervent prayer😅. Y’all call it manifesting or what? ..Honestly, try holding a conversation with them. Just a basic convo. Maybe ask him if weetabix is stew or if a pigeon has knees. On most days, they lack sense😂. Or worse still, they shrub like no one’s business… and the story remains the same. Just let that crush remain a crush…otherwise you’ll feed on pure disappointments.

    Let’s take a break on the stuff I hate. How about the stuff that makes my eyes light up??☺️☺️☺️. Shoes, nails, and scents. They might sound basic and stupid but I get sooo excited every-time I walk into a stall to get a new pair of heels and get my nails done. It’s like I attain Maslow’s self actualization stage when I get that perfect scent, shoes to match my outfit, and my nails done. Satisfaction tupuuu my friend🥰.

    Also, that feeling when that bass guy hits that deep note. Goodness!!!! Mimi naisha tu. I love good music… and I might skip a Pathology revision lecture just to attend an acapella concert. From Adventist acapella, to Sauti Sol, to Nviiri, to Nyashinski, and of course, song covers done by my favs. Also, Shonda Rhime’s series got me real well and I’m totally hooked I won’t even lie. Scandal, Greys Anatomy, How to get away with murder...I mean, it must take really smart brains to come up with such insane stuff. I simply stan a black queen. Also, I hate comedy😂😂. I find it lame.

    Mixing up rice with the stew and letting it get a little cold before I eat it. Or using a lot of ketchup on my fries, then giving them like 10 minutes to get soaked and somewhat cold. All these is stuff I have to do and trust me, the food slaps different every time. My friends hate me for this but y’all don’t know what you are missing trying to act all mature and organized while eating food😂😂.

    I also noticed how peaceful keeping a low profile and minding one’s own affairs is. Imagine it’s not cool when you’re always the one talking about others behind their backs. Don’t you feel like an idle witch trynna feel better by trolling others. Trust me when I tell you, a silent life is a peaceful life. You might wanna try that sometime darling ❤️. See how good it feels.

    I love it when I speak to someone and years later, they still remember what I said and how I like things done. It’s so damn attractive when someone actually listens. Y’all ever had someone in your life who literally gave you time to speak, and didn’t feel the need to chip in or downplay your thoughts.. I mean they just listened and responded so relevantly, you could tell they HEARD YOU FOR REAL?!!

    I know everyone’s really excited about getting married and having kids and all. But don’t pretend you’re not scared about waking up next to the same mammal every single day🤧. What if they are not clean-clean , and you struggle with OCD tendencies? What if they throw their worn socks all over and leave their trousers right where they removed them? What if she doesn’t flush the loo? What if the baby comes and it poops the yellow-green diarrhea that goes up to the neck and you have to wash it all? And what if he wakes up excited and wants to plan your future so he talks loud and endlessly at 5:30 am in the morning? With his dragon breath 🤧🤧🤧. WHAT IF LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH TO COVER THEIR UNTIDINESS 🤧. Mimi nashtuka sana 😂😂. Kwani y’all have it figured out already 😅??

    Things are about to fall apart.

    Y’all ever wake up in the morning for school or work and you contemplate whether you still have the will to keep going or you might as well just quit everything and sleep. That 5-minute sleep extension hits different, and you’d pay a fortune just to get an extra second. So in future, don’t act dumb when your preschool kiddo begs for an extra two minutes of sleep. Don’t act as if you loved school so much. Give them time to sit on the edge of the bed and think about their life😂.. # me every morning 🤧🤧🤧. I hate early mornings for sure.

    I hate it when I plan for an event for days on end but when the material day finally comes, I have no energy whatsoever to face people. Also, the dress you planned to wear suddenly looks so lame on you and your tummy is outdoing itself on that day. I hate it here. How do y’all extroverts survive going out every damn day and interacting with people who are equally if not louder than you? Your social batteries be full all the damn time??? I really can’t relate for sure😅.

    I love it when I’m finally able to put someone else before myself. The downside is, my person is my person and I totally hate it when a third party comes in between and starts acting all familiar and sweet. Listen up Tunde, B is exclusively my person so you go find your own damn person and be all nice and smooshy to them. Not near my B😂🤦🏽‍♀️.

    These are basically very weird things that I like and some that I hate. This post was clearly as random as the guys you keep dating Miss Nyambura. Anyway, y’all who keep saying that Corona Virus is not real make me sick. So you think it’s a whooole universal conspiracy and that the government wants what? To eat your 2 cents of tax money? Anyway, something is never that serious till it hits closer home. I hope your brain sprouts before it’s too late.

    Still waiting for me to conclude with the usual live, love and thrive???😂😂😂 No way!!Today imma tell you this: THE FACT THAT YOU DONT GIVE UP DOES NOT MEAN YOULL MAKE IT IN LIFE😂😂😂😂😂. Boo bye. See you next time darling.♥️♥️.. keep getting entangled in situationships🤦🏽‍♀️.

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    WHAT ARE WE NORMALIZING TODAY?

    My people❤️,

    So today I woke up to a tweet: “NORMALIZE HAVING NOTHING GOING FOR YOU”. Of course it was funny at first, but it sank deep. I really thought about it. I mean, we all want a lot of stuff. And we want it to all fall in place now. For instance, I want a black car (any make bora sio probox or uber chapchap), a nail salon and a perfume store, an attic full of heels and cute hand bags, and a cute, chubby, lil chocolate baby girl, and honestly speaking, I WANT IT ALL NOW!! Not so long ago, the idea of getting a sponsor didn’t sound really awful after all 😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️. I mean, what’s the harm? As long as dzaddy don’t ask for more than friendship? But honey, we both know that sponsors don’t just sit around and spoil you.. you get to sponsor them too🤦🏽‍♀️.

    Is it only me? Do you guys know the pressure that comes with being in your twenties. I am not talking about puberty. Most of us handled that pretty well. I am addressing the 90’s babies. Ages 20 to around 35. Bro, the PRESSURE TO MAKE IT IN LIFE IS REAL. For the boys, this is the time when all your mates are getting well paying gigs and all your homies are moving out and getting their own apartments and new cars. Some are getting engaged and others going abroad for business or postgraduate studies. I’d say it’s even worse for girls because.. society comes in too. Questions like, Why do you dress like a hoe? Aren’t you done with school yet? Why don’t you know how to cook? You need to apply less make up Esther??You need to get married and all the crap older chaps feel the need to say.

    ANYWAY, WHAT ARE WE NORMALIZING TODAY??

    First of all, who said you must have everything figured out by 25? I recently sat down with a few friends and literally everyone confessed to having constant crippling anxiety. Having sleepless nights because all your friends have jobs and seem to be making it. Meanwhile, you graduated uni almost 5 years ago..no job, nothing whatsoever. You’ve tried everything and nothing is coming through. Ukikumbuka how you had your life planned out, machos tu🥺. My thoughts, NORMALIZE LIVING A DAY AT A TIME.

    Have you met these people who seem entitled to your help? The relatives who call to ask for money because you stay in Nairobi and they deserve to be helped because they are ‘poor’. Or these friends who ghost for months and suddenly text you when they get heartbroken or lose a job or get outed from their squad? What of these people who constantly want to use you as their therapist? Always wanting you to listen to them vent for days on end, but when it’s you in actual need, they don’t have the time? IF YOUR ENERGY ISN’T BEING RECIPROCATED, STAND DOWN ALREADY!!

    Why is everyone being an asshole online though? Busy body shaming and bullying everyone for mere clout? Infact, most of these bullies are incels. A brother cannot simply find love or acceptance in real life so they resent everyone. They choose to project online and make everyone feel as miserable as they do. Listen up Nebuchadnezzar, people are going through a lot, and the least you can be is kind. So today, let’s NORMALIZE BEING KIND. I MEAN, KINDNESS IS SO BADASS☺️.

    You know these humans who simply cannot support their friend’s hustle? You sell cars? They want a 50% discount. You own a grocery store? They want to pick veggies every single day for free. You own a salon? They want their nails done to perfection for 100/- . I mean wtf Margaret? I don’t mind doing you favours, but my business won’t survive long enough if you keep asking for free stuff and extreme discounts all the damn time! Guys guys guys.. NORMALIZE SUPPORTING YOUR FRIENDS’ HUSTLE.

    Can’t forget to mention the singles girl-gang that constantly speaks against boys and strives to break everyones relationship. Imagine not everyone is having it rough. So you don’t have to keep spreading negativity every time because you keep picking the wrong niggaz😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️. NORMALIZE RESPECTING YOUR FRIENDS’ RELATIONSHIPS. YOUR TIME WILL COME, SO CHILL.

    I keep feeling guilty everytime I go online and see everyone posting their workout videos, home makeovers, wueh🌚..I eat like a thief most days and I hate how guilty it makes me feel. Kitambi tuuu🤧. Or sijui new skills learnt during quarantine. Darling, if the only thing you did today was wake up and spread your bed, then went ahead to continue sleeping on the couch, I stan a queen. People are drowning in depression and anxiety for not being able to acquire a new skill or get the flat tummy or abs they’ve never had since birth. My thoughts, NORMALIZE HAVING NOTHING GOING FOR YOU. You don’t have to show nothing for this period. YOU SURVIVED A WHOLE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE A LEGEND.

    So parents really don’t apologize even when they are outright wrong🌚. Your mum gon’ break a glass and blame it on the person who used it last month. I have made a covenant with myself to NORMALIZE APOLOGIZING TO MY KIDS WHEN I AM WRONG. Imagine you won’t die ukisema pole Mama Awiti.

    I was shocked to hear that girls only dress up cute when meeting up with a guy. Honey, I can do a full facebeat and glorious nails just to go out on a solo date or even stay indoors and take cute selfies. Not planning to encounter any human being whatsoever. And it’s quite dumb to even suggest that so and so dressed up because she is an attention seeker. Baby these are not the 80’s. So imma NORMALIZE LOOKING HOT FOR NO REASON AT ALL. Never forget, you only feel as good as you look❤️. Ngoja outside kufunguliwe my friends, I can’t waaaiiiiiiitt😂😂.

    Y’all have these friends who pretend to be happy for you but you can literally see the pain and agony on their faces when you succeed? This one time, I told my close friend that my guy was organizing a birthday party for me and I literally saw the veins on her temporal bone fill up. All that time, she faked an “Am really happy for you Moh”. We didn’t last months as friends. Pure toxicity bruh. NORMALIZE CELEBRATING YOUR FRIENDS’ LITTLE WINS. Wishing bad on people won’t take away your misery, so rest.

    Also, lots of girls confessing to getting raped.. not just by strangers, but also by their partners. Listen up uncle G, even a barber seeks consent before they touch your 2 inch beard. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 79 decades, if Caroline is not feeling your vibes today, let it slide bana🌚. Jiheshimu mkurugenzi. NORMALIZE SEEKING INFORMED CONSENT DAMMIT!!🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️. A 17 year old, no matter how mature they look, cannot give consent you pedophile!!

    When Bienaimesol said that brighter days are yet to come, I felt that shit. I mean, no one wants to stand long in a furnace, so keep going… you’re doing great. Meanwhile, be grateful as you wait for your turn because… why not? NORMALIZE HAVING GRATITUDE AND A HOPEFUL SPIRIT. Remember, HOPE IS A GOOD THING.

    Also, whatever it is that seems impossible, have you maybe tried praying about it. I mean EL-SHADDAI AKO NA KILE UNADAI.. Try prayer sometime and tell us how it goes. Raha tupuu nani. So today, we NORMALIZE PRAYING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE TINY DETAIL OF OUR LIFE. Remember, whatever you don’t pray about, you leave to chance..and karma cannot be trusted. I mean, you have everything to gain and literally nothing to lose when you TRUST THE MIGHTY ARM THAT MOVES THE UNIVERSE.

    If you think am gonna conclude without throwing in a BLACK LIVES MATTER… you’re definitely wrong managu head🤦🏽‍♀️. It’s not even a subject of discussion. Just do away with any racist or rapist sympathizer in your life already!!!

    TILL NEXT TIME, LIVE, LOVE AND THRIVE DARLING, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT ALL, THE GOOD STUFF❤️❤️.

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    IT’S BANTER DAY🎊🎊!!!

    Beautiful people❤️,

    Am looking at this romantic set up… and God, is it because I laugh at short boys or what?🤧🤧. I wasn’t in my feels last week and was definitely not gonna blog. I am clearly handling 2020 well enough, so I ain’t forcing no issues. Only thing I’m forcing is chapati down my oesophagus.

    Anyway, what have you been up to lately? I’ve washed utensils and cooked for three months…imma collect my Phd in wifery🌚. I know we all had resolutions at the beginning of the year… mimi at this point, all I can say is “Bora nakula na kulala”. I honestly go to bed every night with intense anxiety that I’ll prolly graduate uni in my late forties 😂😂. I feel like I’ve been in school since 1973 and it’s not even funny. My peers are out here earning money and getting babies intentionally. Meanwhile, my learned friends and I, are busy posting memes and struggling through the University of Nairobi, but what is life?

    Also, this meme is not even funny 😂😂 so y’all stop forwarding it and tagging me innit all the damn time 😂. Wtf you want me to do? Nilie ama?😂😂😂

    Today, we won’t have any specific thing to talk about. It’s TATTLE DAY.. it’s actually udaku but let’s call it banter so we can feel better about our idle selves.

    disclaimer: I AM NOT in any way related to or friends with Edgar Obare, neither do I support his works.

    Walk with me. Y’all ever come out of your house feeling all sorts of cute and shit then you arrive at that bash. You’re still that girl, a few heads turn and your friends are screaming, serving you that Michelle Muchai vibe, “Ai shawty, kwani ni wewe? You’re too much. Too much sauce!” You’re now on top of the world and the night is at its best. Nviiri’s Pombe Sigara is filling the room with all the good vibes😅. And you have all the attention from the bearded guys in the room. Punde si punde, that bigwig chic from Instagram walks into the room and all the girls immediately know that it’s over for them. All of them!!!😂😂😂. You entered the room feeling like that bad bitch, but at that point you feel like the man you really are. A bro in a tight dress😂😂😂. Do short boys ever experience that ka downfall when that tall guy walks into the room? Or does Gabrielle Union ever get those feels when Olivia Pope suddenly shows up at that Shonda Rhimes event? In short how do y’all feel when you were in the limelight and someone who is clearly “hotter” walks in? My thoughts...sit down and be humble😅 because pwagu hupata pwaguzi😂

    Do you ever go back home, feeling so happy that you met new people and made the best first impression. You are sure they all liked you. I mean, I am a whole vibe, and pretty for that matter☺️. So you pick that mirror just to get a glimpse of how they all felt looking at your pretty face. Of course you smile at the mirror because it’s among your greatest assets😅. Then you see that veggie you ate at lunch time proudly stuck between your left incisor and canine. Guys do you even know what chest pains are?? Deep down, you know that Mike, Willy, Jayden, Dave, they all saw that sukuma wiki🤧🤧. You also keenly notice that the right eyebrow was a lil bit lower and more angled than the left. And y’all let me walk around like that, FOR a whole 8 hours. *suicidal ideations tuuuuu!!!*

    In my short life, I’ve honestly experienced so many embarrassing moments, I think I now have active acquired immunity. So this day, I agreed to go on a date with one of those Luo-cum-Ugandan guys .. you know woramsayin?? Mali safi yenye miraba minne na misuli tinginya😂😂😂😂..I did my make up guuuys and dressed up really cute. Dude was so happy to see me, and that day couldn’t get any better. We walked into Cafe’ Deli.. Usually, when I go out on dates, I order meals that are easy to eat because I have braces. Imma rob a bank before I think of eating fish-ugali on a first date🌚🌚 cc. Beryl. So on this lovely day, my ancestors whispered to me, “Sis ebu order spiced fries.” They were brought, and goodness!!, I took a pic for the gram. My first try and I knew it was over for me. Spice was actual pepper… like why Ms Deli? Perfect way to ruin me completely!!??? Why on earth are my fries fully immersed in hot pepper. Ghafla bin vu!!!, running nose, no handkerchief, no wipes, no nothing. I just kept frfrfrfrrrrfrr-ing mucus the whole entire time. In front of my guy🤧🤧🤧. Did I mention that my eyes were tearing as well? And that I had eye pencil and mascara on?

    Ever waved back at someone and two seconds later, realize that they were waving at someone across the street? And that they don’t even care who you are? Or excitedly raising your hand only to get an unreciprocated high five? Si heri nikufe tu bas?!!

    Seriously though, you know those days when you try to hold back that sneeze so as to maintain your dignity? So instead of doing an outward sneeze you sneeze within(yaani kwenda ndani)😂😂😂… I don’t even have the right English words because am really thinking in Kiswahili right now. Scientifically speaking, you have exerted inward pressure to your bowels and your significant outlets, the mouth and nose, are tightly shut. My big head knows full well that the gullet( pretty much excited to use this word after 10 light years🌚), only has two openings!!! So the pressure has no option but to come out on the other end of your gut. I honestly asked God to cover my family’s ears that day and erase it all. I desperately needed a miracle. My baby brother starts laughing sheepishly. And at that point, my dad just serves me with “Pole omwana, hiyo ni ajali tu🤧🤧”. He didn’t even look at me broooo😂😂😂.

    Am sure all the boys are currently crushing on Natalie Tewa or is it Akothee😅…Meanwhile, us girls are having a hard time accepting that Wentworth Miller is actually gay🤧. Guess we’re gonna have to work with our very own Pascal Tokodi or Dominique from EMW lol😅. Since we are talking about crushes, do you know that feeling when you have a crush, confess it to your best friends.. and exactly two weeks later, he approaches you, asks for your number and everyone is happy for you. Like finally!!! You can’t wait to leave class so y’all can chat and embark on your journey to marriage 😂😂😂. Guess what he texts at 12:40a.m. “Si unisaidie number ya Maryanne?, Ama you talk to her for me please? Tell her I like her a lot.” My chweeeeeeesewest🤧

    I keep trying to forget this one time. I was at Tuskys trynna buy essentials, if you know what I mean. My dad kept asking if I was done so he could pay up and drive us home. So I was there stranded trying to figure out how to tell him that I was done yes, but not really done. Imagine nilijikaza nikachukua tu🤧. The silence, the awkwardness that followed bhane🤧. Same same day, the cashier at the counter told me “Thank you for shopping with us.” And as expected, my stupid self said “YOU TOO”???? Why am I like this though. I never miss an awkward word to spice up an already awkward moment😂😂.

    There’s so much racing through my mind right now.. the many times I took screenshots of a conversation intending to send it to my best friends then I end up sending it to the very person from whom it originated..The panic attack bro!! That time they’re are online and the delete for everyone option is as useless as my hairline you know🌚

    You ever feel embarrassed on behalf of someone else? And you don’t even know them?? Here, we call it VICARIOUS EMBARRASSMENT.. aka 2nd hand embarrassment. I’m not sure if we get this… Lemme give an example.. That time the lady sitted at the front of the lecture theatre walks out, having heavily soiled her skirt? And it’s white in colour, and y’all are like 600 in a class.. 3 girls and 597 boys 🤧🤧 aish .. machos tu..Or when your crush is talking to you but has the dried up whitish saliva at the corners of his mouth…Y’all don’t feel mapiripiri kwa macho? Honestly?

    How to disappear from the face of the universe…IMMEDIATELY LIKE RIGHT NOW🤡

    If I keep going down memory lane, it will end in premium tears. And I won’t be able to stop. And for what? To make y’all ungrateful humans have a good time 😂😂?? Imagine it’s not worth it.

    All that said, I hope we are all keeping safe and sane.. If you are not addicted to RHUMBA JAPANI and EL-SHADDAI, ❤️❤️❤️❤️ your demons must be stubborn and really hard to please. My advice… enjoy your youth.. because Rhumba Japani ndio Rhumba pekee😂😂😂.. NA SI ATI NINI AMA NINI😂.

    #MISS RONA WRAP IT ALREADY 🚮

    TILL NEXT TIME, LIVE, LOVE AND THRIVE, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT ALL DARLING, THE GOOD STUFF❤️♥️♥️.

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    SORRY, NOT SORRY…!??

    Hey beautiful people☺️❤️,

    Honey, remember the first day you met him??😅.. Heh, you couldn’t even sleep☺️. You ran into him during your routine morning walk, he looked at you, and you heart went paragasha😂😂… He said “Hi beautiful” and for sure Kwamboka, for the first time in a year, you actually felt like the African queen you really are. His voice bruh😅, that bass dude from H_art The Band is not even a match.

    Every jogger who went past you had this weird sweaty body odour, but this guy had that distinct Jo Malone cologne scent, mildy impressive. You didn’t quite look up, because your face wasn’t at its best, I mean, you could do better, a strong 8 on a good day maybe. Plus you were not ready to ruin your chances. But you could tell he was quite tall, the likes of kina Mohamed Salah.

    Fast forward… within a month, all your friends knew you’d met a hottie in the estate..and that he not only has a full beard but also has perfect grammar. That he asked you out, and that things are moving so fast between you two, HE MUST BE GOD-SENT. Y’all started “dating” and you cannot shut up about how you’d waited for him all your life. HE IS INDEED YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR 😂😂😂… wacha nicheke tu🤧🤧🤧.

    Then suddenly, he doesn’t text or call you as often, makes excuses about meeting you in public places, calls you at 0045 hrs with a “come over I can’t sleep“. However, since the heart wants what it wants, you really can’t see nothing wrong with all that. After all, Marcus loves me so much, he cannot hurt me. A few red flags here and there, a slap and a raccoon eye maybe twice a month, but you think to yourself, “I made him hit me, I should’ve done better”😂😂**clownship sisss**.. Story time over, can we talk about the real issue at hand… ABUSERS;

    THE NARCISSIST. Marcus has an inflated sense of self worth, almost grandiose. To him, Moraa is only as important as how well she cooks and cleans for him. He is quite arrogant, and you’ll never catch him apologizing. He honestly believes that he is always right. According to Moraa, he’s just an African man simply protecting his ego.. But darling, this is 2020 and respect is the new flex❤️. NORMALIZE BEING TREATED WITH RESPECT.

    THE GASLIGHTER. Y’all remember Gregory from the Thriller by Hamilton, how he made his wife doubt her own reality. Lemme put it in words we all understand. Our guy Marcus wants Moraa to believe that her feelings and perceptions are all wrong. Moraa complains that Marcus no longer acts the same, that he doesn’t listen no more, and that she feels sidelined. But how does Marcus respond? Makes her apologize for being too sensitive and needing too much attention . Makes her think she is going crazy. Nowadays, Moraa cannot even make a single decision without second guessing herself. In short, you the victim, are made to believe that ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!!!🥺.

    THE CHRONIC LIAR. Have you ever met a person who simply lies for no reason? I realized that most people appreciate honesty so so much… they’d forgive you if you were honest from the word go. Marcus if you’ve spent all the money in our account, just speak up already. Also stop making promises you can’t fulfill. I know full well that we cannot afford a car so don’t raise my hopes for nothing bro. When I ask why you came home late last night, trust me I know where you were. How about you just be honest for once in your life??

    THE STALKER-CUM-INSECURE GUY. Remember Joe from the series YOU? I don’t really know what goes in the mind of a stalker. Why would your spouse have the constant need to know exactly where you are, everything you do, who you relate with all the damn time. Me thinks it’s weird and a total turn off. And am not talking about the normal INSTAGRAM STALKING we all do😂😂😂… I mean that someone might literally employ a person to follow you around and report back to them. They might hack into your phone and listen in on all your calls. They might even do it personally, like stand across the street and watch you the entire time at your own house or workplace. Such people are mostly insecure and work so hard to cut off any ties with your friends and even family… They will not hesitate stabbing you to death if you threaten to break up or leave. IF THEY CAN’T HAVE YOU, NO ONE EVER WILL. Creepy, right?😅

    What’s she up to mate?🌚🌚

    THE REAL PSYCHO. I don’t think y’all have been in a scary relationship… until you date a psychopath who always has some theatrics to play especially when confronted. Lemme just get real honest here😂😂😂.. I knew someone (not any bit proud, infact, am ashamed as I type this)..I won’t specify when because my stupid friends won’t rest till they find out 😂😂😂. Anyway, so this person X would fall sick any time I wanted out. Like they’d fake illness and get rushed to hospital, then their dad or elder brother would call me (they really were all psychotic..smh🤦🏽‍♀️). Ati X has refused to eat unless I showed up in hospital and forgave them🌚.. This one time, they faked an emergency surgery.. and I stayed up all night tensed and praying fervently for their recovery. In retrospect, knowing it was all just a big lie makes me wanna throw up. I’m just disgusted. There’s also a time, we argued pale CBD and they literally sat down crying … hapo MR PRICE broooo😂😂😂😂… The nerve!!!!!.. Siss you don’t need no other red flag… RUUUUN!!!!!.. utakufa wewe madam😂… TRAUMA TUPUUU!!! I tell you😂😂.

    THE WHORE. I know that mali safi goes chain chain but Marcus baby, not when you’re mine. You know the guy with a cute smile, a lil buff, goes to the gym, full beard, always hovering at 1824, my goodness !!..from my friends’ experiences😂.. they all belong to the streets. By the way, even girls cheat.. a lot of them… so this is not just one sided. Am thinking, in Nairobi, there’s prolly HIV, Syphillis, Gonorrhea, and HPV all peacefully coexisting in the same human being. My question is, HOW MANY TIMES MUST YOUR PARTNER CHEAT ON YOU FOR YOU TO WALK AWAY??… Your want a syphillitic chancre on your nose or ni nini inakusumbua aki? Hope is a good thing yes… but it’s prudent to know when enough is enough. Most people don’t change, and that’s the sad reality.

    The BODY SHAMERS. I saw this lady at a La Belle stall in Town. She was trying to fit some pretty short clothes, but looked quite uncomfortable in them. Like she didn’t own her body. Mimi na udaku, I followed her out of the changing room to go see who was waiting on the other end. This guy with a not so pleasing accent (capable of saying Pradangu – my brother), and of course a protruding kitambi, stood there with an almost disgusted look, and guess what he told her, “Kama hungekuwa unakula vibaya, you’d look better in that dress”..My heart literally sank😢😢… Y’all know how many ladies starve themselves just to look good for boychild??? My take.. IMAGINE SIO A MUST SISS😂😂… eat and f***kin flourish darling. Flaunt that tanker darling, we love to see it❤️❤️❤️

    Heh, should we call out the HIT AND RUN SPECIES. Brayo, Kevo, etc,..bro if you’re not ready to raise a child, please ensure you keep it in your pants. We can’t have young girls, forced to live as single mothers because Martin refused to own up and take responsibility. I’m sure you’d readily kill Marcus if he did the exact same thing to your younger sister. Remember KARMA IS A BITCH AND IS NEVER KIND WHEN DOING HER THING.

    Finally, I cannot let the PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE GANG go scot free. Any man that even considers laying his hand on a woman, let alone actually doing it, is dead to me. A no go zone. A boy who was raised right, clearly knows and understands that, the only time you get to touch a woman is while lovingly embracing her or cuddling in bed.. And it must be with INFORMED CONSENT bwana😂😂…

    Am tempted to talk about RAPISTS.. but it’s a discussion y’all are not ready to have… Imma prolly do it with real stories and testimonies from people who’ve actually gone through it *anonymously of course *.. but then again… A RAPIST DON’T EVEN DESERVE TO LIVE… like wtf??? Kwanza pedophiles??!!!!!!

    Am sure, reading through all these, you might be tempted to think that the villain here is the XY gender. It would be so unscholarly to even suggest or in any way imply that the boy child is not a victim. Everyone is!!!

    Remember, IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO DETOX TOXIC PEOPLE, RATHER, DETOX THE PARTS OF YOU THAT RESONATE WITH THEIR TOXICITY.

    ALSO, HEAL SO YOU DON’T BLEED ON THE WRONG PEOPLE❤️.

    IF YOUR LIFE IS THREATENED IN ANY WAY, PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP..❤️❤️.. Carefully of course, without tipping off the abuser..sounds almost impossible though.🥺

    Till next time: LIVE, LOVE AND THRIVE DARLING, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT ALL, THE GOOD STUFF❤️❤️.

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    THE KIND OF TIRED THAT SLEEP CANNOT FIX🌚🌚

    Hey beautiful people☺️..

    Y’all remember the days when we were kids☺️…for most of us, life was lit.

    I mean, all I did was wake up at 7am, lie in bed while our help got me ready for school… everything was basically done for me. School was fun… I have been a fast learner all my life. Evenings were chilled, all I worried about was finishing my homework on time so I could go out and play with my friends… Komarock phase 3A was a lively estate I must say. I vividly remember the Christmas and New Year’s eve… Blasting barutis and the steel wool on fire stunts….darling, I miss such days… We were all genuinely happy.

    Fast forward to high school, life was good. I was a quiet one …. and boy, …studies went well for me I won’t lie…( I really wonder where all those brains disappeared to)….. Looking back, I really cannot fathom how I managed distinctions in literally all subjects 😂😂😂… Lemme just say NI GOD… because it really was.

    THEN UNI HAPPENED...

    Aaah shaka🌚(Dj Shitti’s voice)

    I really thought I was ready to share my story…. 😂😂… how about we save it for my next post… STORY TIME👌🏽

    Meanwhile, I’ll keep throwing hints as we proceed ..

    I’ll definitely start with the constant feelings of intense sadness and hopelessness🥺… I know we all have days when we feel low…. but this was different… I carefully chose the word CONSTANT… always there with you, it’s like you don’t get no break from these feels. Always sad, moody, almost teary for most part of the day, almost everyday of the week…an ever present feeling of heaviness on your chest… for lack of better words. Also, I was careful to mention the word INTENSE… feelings so strong you could taste them. Funny enough, you really have no reason as to why you feel this way… Bruh, do you really know how hard it is trying to explain to your parents that you FEEL SAD FOR NO REASON AT ALL🤦🏽‍♀️, and that YOU CANNOT JUST SNAP OUT OF IT… That you’re totally stuck, na si ati nini ama nini😂😂 (had to use my signature phrase😂😂).

    This is exactly it… plus the CONSTANT AND INTENSE… you get it now.

    How about the loss of interest in EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING… Where I come from, we call it ANHEDONIA.. new vocab😂😂… thank me now!!! I came to loathe activities that once made my face light up…My acapella playlist sounded mundane and I couldn’t stand it… I kept shuffling through my music app and couldn’t just find the right one to suit my mood. So I stopped listening to music, completely. I started avoiding my friends… not just random acquaintances, I mean my innermost circle of friends… I couldn’t stand them really. I initially loved watching movies while snacking… and honestly, I couldn’t quite remember the last time I completed a single episode of a Shonda Rhimes series without angrily shutting down my laptop and finding something else to do. Also, I am a foodie, I won’t even lie about it…. But at that point, fries masala, ugali and maziwa mala, smokie pasua and chapati, fried eggs,…I hated it all. The only things I comfortably ate were the Tuskys packaged stones (is it mawe or mchanga😂😂) and meat samosas … plus activated charcoal… yes I ate it as a meal😂😂..

    ***At this point, even one with innate obtuseness could give a clear diagnosis of what sis was ailing from…But the funny thing about this indisposition is that, you don’t notice how far you’ve sunk innit, till you almost drown and you want out.****

    Anyway, did I mention the INSOMNIA… I honestly hated the long nights. Imagine spending your whole day longing for bedtime, and when you finally get the chance to rest, your mind decides to replay all the weird scenarios, and think of how everything could possibly go wrong. In fact, on most days, I can confidently say I only got utmost 2 hours of quality sleep. I woke up more tired than the night before. I interviewed a few patients at Mathare, and for some, this whole thing came with hypersomnia during the day.. a bat’s schedule yaani. Funny enough, no matter how long they slept, they still woke up tired. Which brings me to my next point;

    EXTREME FATIGUE. I am not just talking about muscle weakness and a physical lack of energy. For me, it was honestly more of mental than physical. Worst part was I had looming CATS back in school and I hated it there… heh🤧. Just imagine trying to understand glomerulonephritic syndromes, go for a 2 hour ward round, get a comprehensive Internal Medicine history with complete examination by afternoon, go for Surgery Clinics in the afternoon, prepare for the upcoming End of Year exams…(remember I only get 2 hours of sleep a night for the past prolly 3 months or so)… Looking back, all I can say is WERE NOT THE RIGHT MAN ON MY SIDE… acha tu… Honey, I was sinking for real😂😂.. I can laugh about it right now, but it wasn’t even funny at all😂.

    I honestly can’t forget the CONSTANT FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM. From past experience, my gut feeling is almost always right. I had a deep seated feeling that something bad was just about to happen. And it just wouldn’t go away… It was one of the things that kept me up most nights. I strongly believed that I was suffering from an unknown respiratory illness 😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️… and not even Dr Sigilai’s cleared consult would convince me otherwise. I remember visiting The Mater Hospital, South B, at least twice in three months, with complaints of fatigue, dizziness, difficulty in breathing and of course.. stress acne. Believe you me, all my blood tests came out normal and I wasn’t any tiny bit happy about it. I just wanted something to go wrong🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️.. anything. Seriously though, I think I was experiencing anxiety attacks coupled with a lot of overthinking and prolly even HYPOCHONDRIASIS… 😂😂 I don’t really know.

    **apology .. you’ll probably need a dictionary after every 2 statements…but si ni life😂**

    I could go on and on and still never cover even half of what people with depression or mental illness go through… That was just a sneak peek of what goes on INSIDE THE MIND OF A DEPRESSED HUMAN.

    In my own words, I could describe it as:

    1) The kind of tired that sleep cannot fix

    2) Not really caring about anything, but also caring about all of it.. too much.

    3) Wanting to be left alone, but still feeling lonely at the same time.

    4) Knowing full well that you are suffering in silence, but also not being able to speak out … because… Who cares anyway?

    5) Knowing deep down that you need to get your shit together and keep going, but having zero energies😢

    6) For some, it’s just a constant feeling of being TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN BODY.. to some people it actually escalates to SUICIDAL IDEATIONS ( will definitely do a separate post on this… ).. These people just want out…. suicide sounds easier than having to deal with the self destructive thoughts.

    I’ve said too much, and it would be so wrong to end it here without giving a few tips on HOW TO COPE. ( please note that this is not professional advice… so don’t just take it all in…) I’m just gonna state what works for most people.;

    1) For those who have a form of religion or ascribe to a certain faith… my first option would be: Try praying about it… tell God or Allah anything Me thinks (knows actually) that He listens. Well at least from past experience…because how else did we all come this far?? I seriously believe some situations could have been worse but .. See God.

    2) Exercise and try getting sufficient rest. You don’t really have to get a gym membership or something… just try sleeping early and waking up early. Then perhaps go for a walk or skip rope or wake up with Maina and King’ang’i 😂😂 .. raha tupuuu😂😂

    3) Talk to someone about it. For me, I prefer dealing with stuff on my own, because I strongly think that opening up is scam… Things could go south real quick…. But if getting someone to listen to you helps, BY ALL MEANS DO IT… Remember, anything to survive baby❤️❤️.

    4) Find a hobby or just any form of escape… Anything…For me, it’s watching You Tube videos… I really cannot hold back at this point.. Imma suggest a few of my best YT channels.. Master Trail, Over 25, East meets West, Make Up tutorials, Chemutai from the Churchill show is really hilarious, and of course…Flaqo’s funny videos. I also Binge view MEMES … and take a lot of screenshots.. then hoard them all for decades😂😂.

    5) Avoid negative people and places… if it’s that nagging best friend or overprotective-cum-gaslighting fiancé or boyfriend, just cut ’em off already. Avoid places with bad memories or just negative vibes. But if it’s school or university, aki I cannot help you with that 😂😂😂. Mine was school… and the pandemic sure came in handy.. am sorry to say.😂😂

    6) Visit a doctor if you start getting any sucidal thoughts, or unusual anxiety attacks, or if this whole thing impairs your social and physical functioning… In short just visit a doctor if it’s getting out of hand… Usikufe kimwanaume bro🌚.. the world needs you and you are loved..

    There’s probably a lot of coping mechanisms I’ve not mentioned… the likes of binge eating, oversleeping, smoking weed, getting tattoos… idk.. I won’t judge no one…. I’m a strong believer of “PEOPLE ARE WHO THEY ARE FOR A REASON”. If you have to choose between survival and sinking… just do whatever it takes to survive first.. then seek help darling❤️.

    TILL NEXT TIME: LIVE, LOVE AND THRIVE BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT ALL, THE GOOD STUFF ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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    PET PEEVES

    Hey lovely readers,

    So I noticed that most of us are thriving peacefully during this whole quarantine period. Speaking from experience, those who had stress acne or just broken, unhealthy skin are experiencing a glow up.

    I kinda did my research and noticed that healthy meals prepared at home, sufficient sleep (not having to set an alarm for the next day), quality time with parents and siblings…it makes all the difference.

    That aside, do you ever wake up feeling okay, and suddenly, your moods completely shift. You really can’t explain why but a careful review of the events that day makes you realize you actually had those tiny annoying moments. You really didn’t notice what an impact they had, until you lie on your bed at the end of the day and you are pretty much angry at everyone and everything. Pet peeves!!! That’s the term.

    How about we mention a few pet peeves:

    1) THE LOUD CHEWERS.. So imagine travelling to shagz in that shuttle, this well built guy, sits next to you. You left the city at 5am, and it’s hardly 9am, and he starts buying roasted maize at Narok, yoghurt at Keroka, groundnuts and plums at Keumbu- but all this is okay, since it doesn’t really concern me what brother Mogaka wants to eat. It only becomes my business when he begins masticating, and you can honestly feel the intensity of the churning and swallowing…to make matters worse, Mogaka’s mouth is not fully closed and he wants to maintain a conversation the whole entire time bana🤧🤧..

    2) SHUT MY DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT MAN!!! Am tucked in my bed, struggling to find the right posture that enables me lie on my side and still watch my series comfortably. My mum walks in randomly, switches on the lights, literally opens my wardrobe looking for nothing, and quickly walks out, leaving both the lights on and the door open… Sincerely mum, do you know how long it took for me to get my toes warm and find the right posture

    3) SUDDEN STOPPERS. It’s 6pm, we are all in a hurry trying to get to the Utawala KBS bus stage before the line becomes chaos. This not so lean guy, initially walking behind you, and was in such a hurry that he hit you with his briefcase as he pushed his way to the front suddenly comes to a halt. Of course you bump into him and he turns and serves you that, “Madam angalia mahali unaenda” phrase and you really just want to punch his face.

    4) BEING IN THE KITCHEN WITH EVERYONE AT THE SAME TIME. Am there trying to clean utensils as my mum cooks, while struggling to keep my spirits high. I no de lie, but she has this way of using all the sufurias till they’re all back in the sink. Let alone spreading out utensils on the working bench and at that moment….. my chweeeeeeest😂😂😂

    5) REPEATING A JOKE. We all really prefer engaging in conversations that actually flow and where our energies are reciprocated. So if am forced to repeat a joke, or worse still explain it, aki si kwa ubaya… we cannot be cool with each other 😉😉

    6) DISHONESTY. This should have come first, because, I’d rather you beat me up, but Obadiah don lie to me please..To most people it really doesn’t matter why you lied or how insignificant you thought your lie was, you made me look foolish and ruined things… There’s no going back from that, whatsoever.

    7) ENTITLED MEN… Girls, you ever wish you were able to go back home because the guys sitted at the jobless corner would simply ruin your day and you already feel it as you approach. Some calling out, “sister wewe ni size yangu”, others, “madam si you smile kidogo”, worse still others even have the guts to touch your butt or boob. Honestly, all these rising sexual assault cases and abusive homes, all boils down to fragile male ego plus a sense of entitlement.

    8) I’VE NOT EVEN STARTED READING kind of friends. Darling, we’re all experiencing intense tension due to the upcoming Pharmacology exam. Why on earth would you find it necessary to lie about your revision. It becomes more annoying when I didn’t even ask. You just found me in the library, contemplating whether to stop and cry first, or continue reading anyway. You roughly turn my pages, read my topic out loud and with an evil smile, furnish me with “Afadhali wewe, mimi sijaanza bado”

    9) VIBE KILLERS. You all know these people who are constantly angry with the world, and keep spreading negative vibes. You find me and my friends living our best life, laughing heartily at the most basic stuff. Your sad self now feels the need to tell us how loud we are and that we need to grow up..Listen up sister Beatrice, the world is in so much need of good vibes and kindness… if you cannot spread around an influence sweet, at least don’t ruin our vibe.

    10) THE UNTIDY ROOMMATE. Imagine leaving the house sparkling clean, then coming back to a house you cannot recognize.. *Googles aggressively*…How to kill someone without really killing them🤧🤧…Gets worse when it’s someone you’ll spend the rest of your life with.. husband maybe😂😂😂 acha tu.

    11) THE WEIRD TEXTERS…. This, I’m sure, pisses off millions of girls…. Simple advice : stop texting at ungodly hours, give instant replies (I’d have sent a pigeon if it wasn’t that urgent bro), and just text using appropriate grammar… what is Xaxa?, Mapya?, Hae?, Hi 2 u????? Mazuri??, who is My dia?😂😂 ….

    your grammar and texting skills could be the only thing standing between you and your future wife😂😂😂😂.. I’ve said too much already ☺️☺️

    Mazuri???????? Umekula?????🤧

    ….

    The list is endless… different people, different personalities, different pet peeves….

    If you can relate, keep the comments coming ..Tell us about that one thing that you really find annoying, and how you deal with it…

    Till next time: LIVE, LOVE AND THRIVE DARLING, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT ALL, THE GOOD STUFF❤️❤️❤️